My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
