Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
