Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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