I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
