Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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