and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
