??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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