For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
