I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
