Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
