like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
