We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
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i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
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It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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