Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
