This house was built for laser tag.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
