...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
