I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have demons in me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize