why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
