She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
