i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
