He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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