don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
