Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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