You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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