Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My life is pants optional.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
