its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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