Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
