READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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