The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
