Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize