So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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