she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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