i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize