The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"