Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me