i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus