i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
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Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.