I want to have your abortion
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's shark week go big or go home