You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
