marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
