can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
