dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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