You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
