what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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