I forgot how hot balto sounded
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
