This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
