It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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