please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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