Nicole vs. Life
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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