Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Houston, we have a squirter
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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