Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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