I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
