i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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