Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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