tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
