Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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