dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
