What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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