hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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