I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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