I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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