He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
