She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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