I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize